Go to the Frick gallery. Get an egg and cheese from a deli, preferably on a bagel. Get a slice of pizza from a dollar pizza place. If you want something a bit higher quality, head to Rosetta Pizza on 14th–it’s good, but without the lines and price of Joe’s or John’s. Visit a park—Washington Square Park, Inwood Hill Park, Henry Hudson Park, Central Park, Prospect Park, any park, really. Go to Coney Island, see the amusement park, walk the boardwalk, check out the wreck of the Quester I, a home-built submarine. Avoid Times Square at all costs. Go to the Weekender in Queens, it’s a combo billiards hall/Bhutanese restaurant. Visit the Staten Island boat graveyard. See the La Monte Young Dream House, if you like the avant garde. See an interesting movie at the IFC center, or the Film Forum, or the Angelika. Get an empanada at Mama’s Empanadas, a pakora at the Punjabi Deli on Houston, pierogis at Veselka, and a curry-rice at Go Go Curry. See the Van Cortlandt House Museum. Visit Brighton Beach. Every Thursday, Paddy Reilly’s has a live Irish music session, anywhere from 3 to 8 musicians at the bar. Avoid Times Square at all costs. Get a bagel with cream cheese from a good bagel place—Bagels on the Square, Murray’s Bagels, etc. See a play at the Public Theater (some of them are good, some are bad, some are meh). Walk through the New York Botanical Garden. Catch a concert at Lincoln Center. Listen to live jazz at the Blue Note. Avoid Times Square at all costs. Get mofongo at La Casa del Mofongo up in Inwood. If you’re a zoo person, check out the Bronx Zoo. See the Dyckman Farmhouse. And most important of all, avoid Times Square at all costs.

Got all that?